A Literary Experience

I went to a literary festival the other day, for the first time ever. It included master sessions, which were rather boring and political (why on earth would you make a literary festival political?), and morning and afternoon workshop sessions, which were much more useful and happy.

I should note that going to this was way out of my comfort zone. First of all, I went alone, so I couldn't hide behind anyone. Second of all, it involved actually discussing writing with people. And third of all, the workshops actually involved talking about what you were writing. So, it took courage to go in the first place - only made worse by the fact that the rental car company had only huge trucks left so I had to drive a truck that took both my hands to hoist myself into in order to even get there since Daniel had the car!

But anyway, the first session on revision was the most useful, but also the most difficult. I had to bring the first five pages of my book - I actually brought 10 because I was trying to decide whether to keep the prologue or not - and THEN they had us actually partner up with a stranger in the class and read each other's writing so we could critique it!! Not going to lie, I probably wouldn't have gone had I known that was why they wanted us to bring some of our book. But I am glad I did it. The gentleman, Sam was his name, was a high school English teacher and knew how to be both straightforward and still gentle. He could see immediately I was almost over a cliff with concern that someone was going to actually read this and took some time to calm me down before reading all 10 pages. But after that, I actually took his suggestions quite openly and calmly and it may be the most useful thing I've ever done in all my writing life. He told me what I had suspected all along, which is that I don't trust my readers so I over-explain things, but then he went a step further and told me that even more than that, I don't trust myself, which adds even more to my over-explaining in my books. He then showed me a couple examples and explained how he thought I could cut it down and what all the writing books had been saying finally really clicked.

He also told me he could tell that I had very good visualization and I was able to set the scene well, and that it was obvious I knew my characters well. I really appreciated hearing that since I kind of thought those were the two things I struggled the most with. He then encouraged me to share my writing more and, just as my husband tells me, that it really isn't a reflection on me if someone criticizes my writing. So much easier to be told than to believe!

But I do feel like I have a much better understanding now of what needs to be edited in my book, at least in the second editing round (I am still only halfway through the first round), and I have learned that it is possible for me to hear the corrections that have to be made and live through it!

Developing Characters

So, I have sort of taken a break from editing. But only sort of. I bought this book called Writing the Intimate Character and have been going through it with Picture of the Past in mind. It has actually been incredibly helpful - it not only talks about how to develop characters but has exercises in the back of each chapter to help you implement it. I have been forcing myself to do each exercise whether I feel like it or not and have amazed myself by how much more I feel like I know Elizabeth, whom, as you know, I have been struggling with since the beginning.

It turns out, even she has some uncertainty underneath her proud and confident exterior. Due in most part to how often her father moved them around and her need to constantly have to make new friends. That is not to excuse her behavior, of course, but it did increase understanding of her constant need for admiration.

Some of the exercises have taken me out of my comfort zone or even just exhausted my brain, but it may be the best thing to happen to my book and its characters.

15 Minute Challenge - Day 7: Final Thoughts

I actually wrote this yesterday, but my computer decided it needed to restart and when it became 12:30 AM, I gave up and went to bed. :P

Yes, I did my 15 minutes. I used it (well, really, half an hour) to finish up a couple scenes I stopped in the middle of last week.

I have no profound things to say about my self-imposed 7 day challenge. Certainly nothing that hasn't been said before by "real" writers and multiples of them. But I have to say, forcing myself to write for 15 minutes a day every day for 7 days has made a difference for me. In two specific ways:

1. I have rediscovered my story. Not only do I, for the first time in months, remember what I was trying to do with my book, but I feel like I am beginning to understand my characters more as well. And, for the first time since I wrote the first draft, I am thinking about my characters throughout the day and what they should be doing in their story. I am actually excited about getting back to editing it and - hopefully - finish soon!

2. This may be simple for you, but it is actually profound for me. It IS possible to write for 15 minutes a day. Because it was a challenge and because I committed to writing about it every day on the blog, I did not allow myself excuses. Even the one evening we didn't go to bed until past midnight and writing my 15 minutes meant staying up until 1:00 on a weeknight, I still did it and, more importantly, I did not regret doing it. The only thing I regretted most evenings was not having more time to spend on it (and, indeed, there were nights I spent far more than 15 minutes).

This has been a great experience for me and I really hope I don't let it fall by the wayside now that I no longer have an obligation (self-imposed, granted) to write about what I did every day.

15 Minute Challenge - Day 6: Giving Breanna a Backbone

One significant flaw I think I have mentioned before is how quickly Elizabeth's mother went from being weak, conciliatory, and non-confrontational to speaking her mind and ordering people around. Granted, I know from experience that it can happen to even meek people when the occasion is right, but to turn around so completely seemed inconsistent with her character.

So the question becomes, what changed outside of their circumstances and her anger? Something had to push her - to convince her it was all right to speak up for herself, to tell her children what to do, and to lead her family. And that something,, it seemed most likely, would have probably been her new, very strong friend who knew how to teach children discipline and respect and had no probably telling other people's children either. Since I have no more than that to say about the scene I finished writing, I'll get out of my comfort zone and let you read part of the very rough scene I jotted out in my 15 minutes.

“You had a daughter named Anne?” asked Breanna in a softer tone.

“That we did.” Joan looked with some affection toward Breanna’s Anne, who was seated some distance away, playing quietly with her doll, a thin wisp of black hair falling out of her carefully braided hair. “She was a pretty little thing. Blonde as the wheat in a field, unlike your little Anne. She would have been 5 years old this year. But that is neither here nor there.” She hurried on briskly, pulling herself from an almost-reverie. “Fact is, it is a hard life. There are no guarantees outside of God bein’ there for you through thick and thin. We lost two children on a perfectly safe farm in Illinois, a farm that was beginning to fail. We might as well take out chances out here to try and get a better life for our family. That’s what yer husband wants fer you all, ain’t it? A better life?”

Breanna couldn’t quite bring herself to respond. To say yes would be to almost say it was all right for Mark to have dragged them away from their home. To say no would be a lie. Whether it was his fault in the first place or not, it was indeed what he wanted for them out here. So she said nothing, but leaned over the venison stew. 

Joan’s shrewd glance at her spoke volumes. There was an awkward silence before Joan spoke quietly. “Admitting he’s doin' his best for you now doesn’t mean what he did in the past was all right. But you can’t change it by bein’ bitter and dismissive.”

Breanna bit back a sudden sharp remark that it was none of her business. She was the one who had brought up reasons for being on the trail, and she had no call to be rude to her only friend.

“Thank you.” She said instead, rather stiffly. “Now, then. Let’s see if we can’t get your oldest girl to actually help some.” Joan moved on cheerfully and quickly. “Elizabeth! Come tend the cornbread!”

It took some minutes for Elizabeth to actually appear from the back of the wagon, an irritable look on her face.

“You ready for this?” Joan looked at Breanna.

“Ready for what?

“For instructing your daughter on helpin' out.”
                “Oh – I  - I don’t know. She looks rather – tired.”

“She doesn’t look tired, she looks angry. She is as angry as you are at being out here, the difference bein' you are taking responsibility and doin' what has to be done and she is letting everyone else do the work – which I suspect she is used to from back home.”

Breanna didn’t have to answer the assumption for Joan to know it was true.

“Anyway – I have my own family to tend to, Breanna, and you have yours. I will not be here all the time and you need to get a little backbone and learn to teach your daughters what respect is. They have just as much duty to be out here working as you have.”

“But – I don’t – I don’t know –“

“How? You stand up straight, you remember you are her mother, you are responsible for her upbringing, and you do not want her acting the way she does now when she has her own family to tend to. You and and yer mister are responsible for how Elizabeth behaves and kowtowing to her every time she throws her little temper tantrums ain’t doing no one any good, least of all her.”

By this time Elizabeth’s slow saunter had brought her near enough the fire that Breanna did not feel comfortable arguing any longer. Her daughter stopped and looked at her silently, her lifted chin defying her to actually give any orders. Breanna glanced towards Joan, who answered with an encouraging nod.

“Ahem. Elizabeth – Mrs. Winters must get back to her own dinner now. Please see to the cornbread.”

“I think not.” Disdain dripped from her daughter’s voice. “It is hardly my place, nor do I have any knowledge of the method of cornbread cooking.” Elizabeth half glanced towards Joan, almost simultaneously with her mother, both expecting the woman to speak up about respect and doing her job the way she had every time previously. But Joan remained silent, leaning studiously over the fire to add more wood. After an embarrassed silence, Breanna cleared her throat again and continued in a strained tone.

“Then. You will need to learn, Elizabeth. It is high time for you to start pulling your weight around here. I cannot be expected to do all the work, and nor can Mrs. Winters.”
                “I cannot be expected to do the work either, Mother. If Father wanted dinner, perhaps he should have brought servants with us, or, perhaps even allowed us to remain in our home.” Elizabeth icily turned to go, sure she had, as usual, silenced her mother with her concise insults.

Breanna shot a desperate glance towards Joan, who returned her look with meaningful eyes and pursed lips.

“Elizabeth!” In her desperation to get the word out, it came much more sharply than intended. But it did the trick. Elizabeth stopped and half turned in surprise.

“Elizabeth.” Breanna continued in a slightly softer, but just as determined voice. “You will return here immediately and ask Mrs. Winters politely to show you how to cook cornbread, or you will . . .will . . . assist her father and brother in caring for the oxen.” It was the only thing that came to mind as an alternative. 

Elizabeth’s lip curled and her brow furled as she looked at her mother in disbelief. Breanna swallowed and set a stern expression on her face, trying to look as if she meant every word she said. Elizabeth slowly turned back around and stepped to Mrs. Winters, casting Breanna one more half derisive, half uncertain glance before she said rigidly, “Mrs. Winters, would you be so kind as to  . . . show me how to . . . do that.”

Joan allowed a small smirk to play about her lips. “I would be delighted, Miss Johnson.” She cast Breanna an approving look above Elizabeth’s dark head.

15 Minute Challenge - Day 5: Developing Characters

I've been having an issue with my main character in Picture of the Past almost since the beginning. I didn't like her. I didn't intend for anyone to like her at first, but to gradually sympathize with her as she changed - but I didn't like her even when she changed. She seemed so - flat. So single-minded. So one-dimensional. In short, she seemed like a character, not a person. I've been reading lots of books and articles about how to improve this because, in my mind, she is multi-dimensional. She has struggles, internal and external, and she is someone who can grow into such an incredible daughter and sister - but I just can't seem to translate that to the page.

One good thing about implementing these additional scenes, is that they are forcing me to write more about her. More scenes about her, more viewpoints about her - and I think I am slowly beginning to figure her out more. I am still not pleased - but I think I'll get there. One thing I need to remember is that this is my character - not the character that all the articles tell me I have to write. All the books and articles say your heroine must be sympathetic. But that isn't true. There are plenty of heroines that are not sympathetic until the last. So if she is selfish and unlikable in the beginning part of the story, that is who she is - trying to add sympathetic elements only makes her seem more fake until she actually begins to change. Besides, she really doesn't seem to like it when I add in things about her that aren't true. Believe me, I've tried.

Day 5 of the 15 minute challenge involved writing a scene wherein she is angry about doing servants work, the boys don't pay as much attention to her as she thinks they should, and her mother was just about to give her a lecture on what it actually means to be a lady when the timer went off. I don't know if it will actually go into the story, but she is doing a good job of reminding me that she is just a spoiled little rich girl at first and I shouldn't be trying to make her into something else.

15 Minute Challenge - Day 4: Scene Implementation

I know it is technically past midnight, but I am still totally counting this 15 minutes. We had guests over, which I personally think is a valid excuse. But, I did begin writing a scene that I defined as needing to be written! Which, then started to turn into another scene which went longer than anticipated, but that isn't bad - it is helping me get to know my own characters a little more.

It is seeing the main character from another character's point of view, which is always helpful for discovering his or her personality. A little cheesy, but I don't really care since no one gets to see it but me. And that is all for now, since it IS a workday tomorrow.

15 Minute Challenge - Day 3: My Version of an Outline

I've never been a big outline person. It feels so restrictive to me. And I freeze almost more than I do over a blank page if I am trying to outline an entire book. What if I don't know where I want to go? What if I want to see what the characters want? What if I don't know what to put where? How does an outline even work? Isn't this a waste of time? And on and on the questions go. No. I rarely do outlines. Not saying I won't ever - so many people claim they change your life and novel, but for now, I am going to work with methods that actually get me writing.

For the first time, though, I am beginning to understand the index card methodology - you know, the whole write scenes on index cards and rearrange them? I may end up doing that yet. So, I finished what I started yesterday and went through the book, noting areas that I felt needed additional scenes to actually create the story and give it depth. I figured out 54 MORE SCENES THAT NEED TO BE WRITTEN! (*I will not panic* *I will not panic* *repeat over and over*) But on the bright side, I truly do believe that they will make the book better and flow more easily. As it stands now, Elizabeth changes from a haughty little rich girl to a humble person trying to help her family waaaay too fast. It's kind of like, wait - who are we talking about? So things like this ought to fix that.

I realized as I was noting where things need to go that this is where outlines and index cards probably come in for writers who use those. They can see at a glance where those gaps are. I finally understood it. I still think this worked better for me personally - at least where this is novel is concerned - but I think knowing makes me a better writer and better prepared for whenever I finish Ethrill.

Yes, I am counting this as my 15 minutes of writing. I may not have written an actual scene, but at least I now know where I am going with this.

15 Minute Challenge - Day 2 - Getting Back Into the Mindset

I have a lot more free time than usual tonight due to my husband being gone for a guy's night and having nothing in particular scheduled. I was going to go to the Library of Congress to do some research and writing, but it is a dreary, rainy night, and I decided I really did not want to leave the house. So, instead I made myself a pot of tea, turned on some Jim Brickman and am doing my writing here, with no people around.

I am taking advantage of my extended period of time do go through the book and note everyplace I think needs more scenes or which parts need to be "shown" instead of told. There are a lot! This is really helping remind me of where I left off a few months ago, when I started doing piecemeal research that I just never had enough time to concentrate fully on. I feel like I am beginning to remember what I wanted out of the story. Once I finish marking potential scenes or areas that "tell" too much, my goal is to write at least one of those scenes. But even if I don't get the scene written, going through the book itself counts as the "15 minutes", right? I hope so, since I've already been at this for half an hour!

I feel like I might get more use out of this editing style than going through the book and changing page by page and feeling like I never make progress. Everyone has different book editing styles, or so I have read, and I suppose you simply don't know which yours is until you try! Good luck to all you other first-time-book-editors out there in discovering your style as well!

15 Minute Challenge - Day 1

I read it over and over again. 15 minutes a day. Write at least 15 minutes a day. To the extent that I half roll my eyes when I read it now. I know, I know. Okay? It's not my fault that I had to . . . [insert whatever I am busy with that day]. Then there is the plaguing thought that maybe I'm not a real writer. Maybe I don't care as much as I should. Maybe I am just a failure all around. Maybe if I truly cared enough I would make the time. That's what everyone says. If you really care about something you make the time for it. But I do care about it, I know that in my heart. I just - shy away from it sometimes. I consider it extraneous and feel like I am neglecting other duties when I spend too much time on it. I am trying to refocus that - yes, again. This will be a constant subject, I'm telling you!

This weekend, I woke up surprisingly early on Saturday for how little sleep I've gotten over the last week - early as in 9:30 - and in a reading/researching/writing mood again. So, I grabbed a writer's digest and started reading it. And I ran across an article talking again about the whole "write 15 minutes a day" thing. Whereupon I immediately felt my normal guilt that I didn't make a point to do that, and a little resentful. But there was a follow-up comment that really resonated with me. It was "You have to stay in the story." Or something along those lines. The basic idea is, if you force yourself to work on a story for 15 minutes a day, you will continue to know what it is you were in the middle of, how the characters were feeling, what you were trying to figure out, and all that. And I was like - hmm. That is a good point. It isn't just about the discipline. It is about staying with your story. And I do have that trouble when I go back to a story after awhile, getting back in the heads of the characters and what I was trying to do with that particular section that makes no sense.
So. I have decided to make a goal. I am going to aim to write for 15 minutes a day for a week solid. And to blog every day about how it went and what I wrote about. This is my attempt to be disciplined.

So, I meant to start yesterday, but it passed so fast! So, instead I started today. And I opened a document and began writing in potential scenes to work into Picture of the Past to amplify characters. Trying to get back into the mindset. It may have been past 11:30 PM, but I still did do the 15 minutes!